I Fall Down

I am the kind of person that trips and falls a lot. I am quite a clumsy walker. I have had several memorable falls in all my years, and somehow I never really get hurt. I have never broken a bone or had a serious injury, just skinned knees and bumps and bruises.

Some of my most memorable falls - either because they were funny or just hurt a lot:

Spring of my sophomore year in college, when I was studying abroad in Montevideo, we had spent the afternoon at the beach, and were leaving and walking to the bus stop to head home. We were stopped at the street, and right in front of the sidewalk where we were standing was a gutter. As we waited for a couple of cars to pass before crossing, someone said, "Watch out for the gutter." When the traffic cleared, I was reared up and ready to go, so I stepped out to make my way across the street. Yes, I stepped into the gutter and fell flat on my face, landing in the middle of the street, and had to jump up rather quickly to avoid getting run over. The saddest part of this fall was the fact that I ripped a whole in my favorite candy pants - which were comfy capris that I had made for myself out of candy printed material.

Also in college, I liked to stand on chairs and sing along to music. One night my roommates joined me and we all stood on chairs in the living room to sing along to my ATeens cd. As we sang, I was using my ladle microphone that I had made for myself. I don't remember the specifics, but I do know that I was standing on my swiveling desk chair, somehow fell onto the ground, and hit myself in the head with my ladle. It hurt a lot. Probably safer, but it sometimes makes me sad that I no longer sing while standing on swiveling desk chairs.

When I was in the 4th grade, I had quite an embarassing and tragic fall. My class was standing in line by the door to our classroom to go to lunch. Being me, I made sure that I was close to the front, and I wouldn't let anyone in front of me. So, kids started pushing. I continued to stand in the way, got pushed, and landed face first in the classroom trashcan. For a few days, I had a line from the rim of the trash can across my stomach. You would think that I learned something from that, but I still make sure that I am at the front of any food line. Luckily, I haven't been pushed into a trash can since.

The last of the falls I will recount for you happened today. There was some sleet last night, and as result, there was some ice on the bottom steps of my apartment. Last night, I made a comment to Victoria about how if I slipped on the steps, she might have to come save me. Yes, as I left for work this morning, I slipped on the steps. Not only did I fall and hit the back of my head on the concrete step (which REALLY hurt), I was carrying an uncapped smoothie, which ended up covering the front of my coat, splattered my khaki pants, went inside my purse, and ended up coating half of my face and my hair. Needless to say, it was a lovely morning. I now have a bump on my head, but have finally tken enough Advil to laugh at the situation, and the smoothie that covers our bottom steps and handrail.

The End

Grad School....more like Bad School!!

We are the hero of our own story. - Mary McCarthy


Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?

If you don't know, I am currently in grad school working on my Master's in Bilingual Eduation and I'm also teaching full time. And I have to say, it sucks. I feel like all I do is work - whether it be writing papers, grading papers, reading, studying, lesson plans, and all kinds of other boring, necessary stuff. I think that right now I would give just about anything to go back in time a year and not start the whole grad school thing. I'm halfway done now, so it's a little too late to quit, but seriously, I hate my life right now. I work so hard, and for what??? So that I can have another piece of paper at the end with my name on it, and maybe, just maybe, get paid an extra $100 a month??? It just really doesen't seem worth it, and there are many days when I really feel like it is going to kill me. I hardly ever get to have fun anymore, and I hate it. I love my job, and I would never do anything else, but it is very draining work and I am always tired. Grad school was a huge mistake. It is sucking all of the life out of my life.

A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice.

Going back to the whole grad school thing - there are lots of not so smart people in my classes. I'm not sure if it's just that I'm really smart, or they really aren't, but seriously, get a clue!!! I'm an intelligent person, and I catch on to things really quick, and I hate being treated like a dummy. This happens at work sometimes, and it drives me nuts. Don't waste your time and energy telling me things that I already know and have already figured out - focus on the less fortunate people that really need you, and let me go home early if I don't need to listen to you - because, really, all I'm doing is texting and drawing pictures anyway.

It is necessary for me to establish a winner image. Therefore, I have to beat somebody.

I really like to win. I am a sore loser and a sore winner. When I lose I pout and manipulate the situation so that I actually end up winning. When I win I gloat and make the loser feel bad. I'm not sure why I'm this way, I just am. I guess that it's just too bad that for me to win someone else has to lose. Lately I feel like I've had a really hard time winning and losing graciously. I put a lot of pressure on myself to be successful and live up to my own expectations, and with everything that is going on, I am not okay with mediocrity. Yes, I know that this isn't always a bad thing, but I definitely take it too far. I'm sorry if I ever tried really hard to beat you and hurt your feelings or made you feel dumb or took all of the fun out of whatever we were doing.

I don't really like life right now, but happiness is on its way. Tomorrow is my last class of the semester, and I'm only taking one in the spring, so I will be able to have a life again. I will be less tired, less stressed, and I will actually come out of my apartment sometimes. Watch out, world, Emily is finally free again!!!!!!

Grandmotherisms

I love my grandmother. She is probably the funniest, craziest (in a good way) person that I know. Here is a small sampling of the things that she says that make me laugh.

"Brownies and ice cream....you eat a brownie with ice cream, I guess."


"I was drunk this morning." Note: she was not actually drunk
"I'm not going to a movie with this drunk head."

"I thought you said that coffee wasn't any good."
"It ain't."
"Then why are you drinking it?"
"I need something to do."

"Cheese is so good. And yogurt, frozen yogurt."

"She's reading about vampires. Cheers!"

"Do you have a garbage disposal?"
"yeah."
"That's good. I love a garbage disposal."

And my favorite grandmother moment of all time from a few years ago. Jess and I were in her bedroom as we were getting ready to go to church. Grandmother was looking everywhere, in all of her drawers, and couldn't find the pantyhose that she was looking for. She started freaking out, like completely going crazy as she ruffled through her drawers. All of a sudden, she started chanting to herself, "Calm down, now. Just calm down." After a few minutes, she was finally able to calm down. I was laughing too hard to notice if she ever found the pantyhose.

There is also a story that my grandmother tells about me that I find a bit humorous. When I was like 2 or 3 I was at her house, watching her make brownies. She had them in the pan, ready to put in the oven, and I asked, "Aren't you gonna put any nuts on them?" So, in compliance with what she assumed with her granddaughter's wishes, she covered the brownies with nuts, and put them in the oven to bake. When they were done she asked me if I wanted a brownie. I said, "No, I don't like nuts."

I'm sitting in class at SMU right now, wallowing in my hatred of being a student. I do not like to listen to lectures. I do not like to take notes. I do not like to read textbooks and articles. I do not like discussions. I do not like listening to presentations. I do not like to ask questions. I do not like to study. I do not like to take tests. I do not like to do homework. I do not like to have to leave happy hour early to go to class. I do not like to wake up at 8 AM on Saturday mornings because I have class.
I could go on forever.
Why am I here?

New Yorker??

About 3 years ago, I developed a five year plan that would take me to live in New York City by 2010. The plan was pretty simple, it basically consisted of living off half of my paycheck, and developing my resume in such a way that would allow me to easily find a job teaching in the Bronx. That was my dream, and for a few months, that's what kept me going. I hated my job, and that dream is the only thing that got me to school in the mornings.
However, after a while, I forgot about my dream, my plan. I began to love my job, and my life here in Dallas.
This past weekend I returned to New York for the first time in 3 1/2 years. I don't know why I stayed away for so long. It sounds so cliche, wanting to live in New York City, but when I'm there, I feel like that's where I'm supposed to be. As I walk down the street, with hot dog in hand, I feel comfortable, at home, and Central Park is heavenly.
All this to say, the five year plan is back on. I've started grad school now, and I'm a bit committed to things here, but I feel recharged and ready to tackle my dream. I don't know if I'll make it by 2010, but I will make it. Not only do I plan on moving to NYC, but I plan on becoming a bonafide New Yorker. I'm going to start small - I am going to learn to drink coffee and wear high heeled boots. That's the plan today, anyway, but I'm no fool - I know that I will probably wuss out by tomorrow. But at least for today, I have a dream, a plan to get there, and a happy heart.

My Holiday

When I first learned that my family would be going on a cruise to celebrate this holiday season, I thought that all my dreams had come true. I was finally going to make it to Costa Rica, a place that I have been longing to go for a while now, and that made me so happy that I just had to sing aloud. None of us had any idea what we were getting ourselves into. Sure, we've been on cruises before, but never for 10 days, and NEVER with the world's densest population of senior citizens.
Ten days on a boat is a long time. I don't recommend it, and pray that I am never forced to do it again. It is boring. I have read a stack of books, taken lots of naps, worked on my rubiks cube, watched movies, every boring activity imagineable - well, I actually those things most of the time, just not when forced to do them for ten days straight. Everyone always talks about cruise entertainment, and I suppose it has been entertaining, if you're 80 and can't see or hear. Maybe I'm just bitter, I don't know.

There have been highlights, though. We rode horses through the ocean in the Bahamas, hand fed sharks and stingrays and giant turtles in Curacao, ziplined through the rainforest of Costa Rica, and saw the magnificent Panama Canal. And the funny old lady, who on Christmas Day, wore a Santa hat, and red swimsuit, and clear plastic high heels - that I will never forget, or forgive myself for not having my camera with me.
We've had lots of sister togetherness time. Maybe too much. We have all been made aware of our each and every flaw at least ten times, and never in a loving way. But we have enjoyed making fun of people together.
The food here was not created with a picky eater in mind. I have eaten lots of bread and lots of desserts, and had some small tastes of other things in between.

Ten years from now I probably won't remember most of this trip, but I will remember the fantastic memories and the dreams that became reality for me. I will remember laughing with my sisters, and that has been worth every second of this holiday aboard the Ship for Seniors.